Seek Your Adventure

That is me worrying.


This is me not caring.


This is how I feel.

Ever since about tuesday, I have been feeling so down lately. It just all of a sudden hit me. I have had some bad dreams, where I am being pursued or something really horrible happens to me, and I have to say, that bad energy is going somewhere -- in my productivity.

I was sitting at my desk, thinking about how it is 10 oclock at night, and I have not started my homework that I need to work on. The only work I did today was a math quiz, and that is because that has a deadline. It seems like if my work doesn't have deadlines, then I am just inclined not to do it. I am SUCH a procrastinator, it kills me inside. Ugh! I need to get my gpa up to my standard. I am not the average person, I should not have an average grade. What can I do?

I am going to look up anti procrastination tips...

I miss learning about spanish. Particularly the feeling I get when I can totally understand the same word in two different expressions. Reading my literature for span 260, I am totally happy with the subject matter. I especially enjoy the subject of linguistics; I enjoy learning about the structure of language. Something I believe we all take for granted.

When I went into my spanish lit class on thursday, my teacher was totally not what I was expecting, and so right in the middle of the class I logged on to studentcentral and switched to another section of the class. I felt bad initially about changing out of his class so quickly, but my first semester last year I had a non-native speaker and atleast I could understand his accent, but this guy's accent was just so BAD, I didn't want to spend a semester thinking about how badly he pronounced his spanish. I prefer native speakers, so then I was lucky and got a TA who was a native speaker. She I believe is from Spain, her name is Maria del Carmen Caña Jimenez. She is the most hyperactive, loud, enthusiastic teacher I have ever met. I can't stop laughing sometimes in my head, because of how she is so upbeat about everything... I can't explain it, but if I could video tape her, I am sure any other person would see where I am getting this opinion from. But I do like her a lot better. She emphasizes group work a lot more, and that is a big plus for me. I love to learn about the language, so it was my priority to make sure that I enjoy it as well.

Friends.

The further into our college careers we travel, the less and less time do I have to mozy about and do random things with my friends. Typically the weekends would be solely for doing extra-curricular activities with my friends, but this year it will be happening less, and I am for sure about that.

Other things.

I bought a meal plan again this year, because I did not like having to bum meals off of friends or what not so that we could all eat together at lunch or dinner occasionally. I never did like getting the meal plan, but it is worth the quality time that I can spend with my friends. I got the cheapest one, so worst comes to worst, I can pay it off when I get a job. I love that I have airconditioning this year. Since I am an upperclassmen now, it is pretty much guaranteed that I will have AC for the rest of UNC, but I am still going to push that I can get a room somewhere on North Campus. I hate being on South all by my lonesome. It sucks! I will do my best to fix that...

p.s.
To my bad friend:

You are so silly. :P

Leave your trademark next time, ok? Or a name will do.

I am officially back in school.

I was so confident about classes and everything until last night before I started classes today. I suddenly just got nervous about it all. Overwhelmed once again. Margarita said she was nervous earlier that day, and maybe it got to me. Just ate away at my mentality. Yet I got through my first day of classes rather successfully despite some problems the school was facing. Apparently this was a major recruitment year for the school because the campus is swarming with new fresh faces, and feels crowded. Especially during the lunch hour.

Spanish 260 and Math 130 (Pre Calculus) are my two classes on Tuesday. I would have astronomy today as well, but I have to get permission from the administration to re-take my lab class...

I will be on top of my game this semester. I can't wait to check out my Chemistry class tomorrow.

Living

I live on south campus once again this semester. The only upside to my accommodations is that I have air conditioning this year. My roommate is very nice too, she seems interested in getting to know me a bit. That's always nice. All my other buddies are on North Campus, so that is the most depressing part about being down here all to my lonesome. I suppose I will be doing a whole lot more traveling back and forth from and to North and South campus to try and spend time with my friends. Somehow we will work something out to make traveling fair.

Margarita and Daron have a really nice room at Kenan Dorm. Trevor and Davis stay in Connor in room... 420 -- is that coincidence or what. My room is exactly the same as last year except the AC and the roomie. I live on the 2nd floor, which is nice. No need for an elevator.

Ok, i got bored of writing...
--

You know that feeling that you get when you are doing something bad that you know you shouldn't be doing, but you do it any way, and then you get caught. Yes, it can be the worst feeling in the world, and it doesn't matter how minute the situation might be, it is just the principle of abusing the trust of another person that can make you feel so dirty.

I am an honest person, and I will 'fess up to the things I am responsible for doing. I have nothing to hide. All the apologies in the world can't change the fact of what you did, and the worst thing that could happen next is when the person you offended makes rash and heat of the moment decisions that can change the relationship in a split second. I don't regret what I did, for I did it for a self justified reason. Yet, I feel horrible about it. Even though it was really not a huge tresspass by any sorts.

Not to mention that I myself do not allow my anger to control my decision making, thus I do not often have that problem, but I still encounter people who act this way. So now, we aren't talking, and it hurts... I feel that giving some time between us will alleviate the anger on his behalf, and hopefully just move on. People do things that they wish they hadn't done, and I do wish I hadn't done that, but I don't regret doing it. I don't sit up thinking to myself, "why did I do something so stupid", instead I feel that if only I would have refrained, and said to myself "this is silly what you are doing'', then things would be different. But this is just too little, too late.

To my friend, please forgive me for abusing the privilege, and for being so needy on my behalf, that I indeed did justify my actions.

Just remember though, that it was just Facebook. Only Facebook... thats the trivial part of the problem... but there is a principle at stake here. That I understand.

Find it in your heart to forgive me.

I have been working on an emblem for a T-shirt for the women's rugby team at my college, and I have created one that I am quite satisfied with, and I think will look good on a T-Shirt.

It took me a few hours to manipulate photoshop, paint, and powerpoint to use all their different rendering abilities in order to get the desired result on my art. It is nothing fancy, but it did take me a while to put together, even though it looks simple. I would be much obliged if our president (H. Motsinger) decides to use the picture after all. I hope they use it. It was nice though, to learn how to use some of the software that came with my laptop...

T-shirt Emblem:



Some other ideas:

In my late night haze of crazy random thoughts, it just occurred to me that I have a weekly flow. Not as reliable as my monthly period, but my weekly flow is always guaranteed to rear its ugly head. You can almost always look back at your week and determine the good days from the bad ones. Well, maybe what I am saying is complete bullshiznit, but this week, would definitely be an example week. Mon-Thursday sucked, and fri, sat, and today (since my mom returns from her trip) shall stick in my minds as the better half of my week.

Friday because even though I couldn't hang out with a friend of mine because it was guy's night out, the most amazing episode of scrubs came on t.v., and earlier in the day, I got high off of Benadryl because I took it in the morning without having eaten food first... and I got very spacey, light headed, dry mouth, but most of all I got really drowsy, so I slept half the afternoon and didn't even get to enjoy the decongestant... at all...

I don't think the stuff works for me. I woke up congested still...

Saturday was great because I cleaned up my room and the kitchen, I was very productive, I watched the LOTR Two Towers, and then I went to my friends house and chillaxed all afternoon. Plus I got pumpkin seeds, and I am planning a girls night out on Tuesday.

Today will be great because I will see my mom, I haven't seen her in almost a month, sort of reminiscent of college, when I am away for weeks at a time, she said she got me some cool stuff. I love my mom! I miss her so much. Can't wait to go to the airport tomorrow.

Other than that, I think the whole weekly flow is something that can be extrapolated into a month, or a day, everything has a rhythm, so yea, it was all bullshiznit. But this week, having spent most of it alone, will stand out in my mind. Oh yea, today was also amazing because my friend Margarita, who is outstanding and one of a kind, wrote a post just about me today... wow.

Pronounced: "ah-fah-tix"

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APHOTYX

Here is an example of the hand bound Journals:




Good luck to D.Potter