March 26
The weather here in Chapel Hill has been absolutely phenomenal. I have been able to frolic in the sun and get somewhat of a spring tan on my pale winter shade of tan that I am not so fond of. But, this weather makes me happy everytime that I walk out side into that shining sunlight. Today was a bit cloudy but the breeze was crisp and refreshing on my skin. It almost felt like the first day of autumn, except the leaves are budding and not dying. I had a test and a quiz today. I hope that I did modestly well on them both, I feel like I knew most of what I was doing. A test in Math, a quiz in Chem.
We don't have class on wednesday, and although it is nice to not have to get out of bed for another hour, I am not so happy about missing class. Chemistry is my most demanding of classes and having to learn the material without the teacher's clarification is not the most desirable way to learn it in my opinion.
Things have been going alright for myself. I still am not studying as much as I should be. But this half of the semester seems to be less rigorous. That means I should have more time to relearn concepts that I did not originally understand in Chem and Astronomy, and Math. Anthropology is pretty easy, but we had a test last week, and I don't know how well or how bad I did on the test. I will find out tomorrow I believe (today actually)...
One of my closest people to my heart is still upset with me with an argument we had over 1 week ago. I am usually pretty patient and docile argumentatively, but when I get upset, it is not a pretty site. I don't believe in that Astrology stuff, but it would be accurate to say that I am like the taurus in temperament. I just wish she would stop ignoring me. I never ignored her after the fact, I tried to just move on. Not pretend that nothing happened, but to move on. I see the chasm in our maturity levels more clearly now, and thats just a fact of life.
On another note, I am getting more and more open minded, and my temperament has increased dramatically since I first began my teenager years, and now I am entering the last year of teenager hood. I will be 19 in May, and that will be my last year of teen. After that I will spend the rest of my life in adulthood. No more teenager for me! Eek! I have anxiety for the day. I am more excited about being 20 then I was for being 18. Quite literally, I am able to do everything that a 21 year old person already does legally, and it doesn't phase me. I am not huge on drinking, and I despise smoking. I tried cigs, but they are disgusting, and never again will I have the desire to smoke, because I already tried it. I am glad that I can say that I tried it at least. I would never want to be one of those people who say that they hate something they have never experienced. What a sad life to live. I would much rather see for myself, although I find it more wise sometimes to take another person's word in certain situations. I am growing more and more capable of making responsible and beneficial decisions. I like growing up, I just don't like getting "old".
Getting old, in my initial opinion(which i am likely to change as i grow older) is when someone begins to lose the love for life that they had. That enthusiasm. Enthusiasm should not have a label like most people do call it -- youthful enthusiasm. Indeed, enthusiasm is usually described by such an adjective, but I sentiment that it aught be deemed a lively interest...
The case made here -- you do not have to be YOUNG to be enthusiastic. I find such beauty in lively individuals, especially those who keep up that zest for life after they have passed out of that young adult stage. It makes me enormously happy when my mom is excited about something, and when I find anyone in such good spirits, the radiation of their energy is transferred to me.
For every reaction, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Same thing goes with emotions. They indeed are chemical reactions that are manifested as feelings and moods amongst creatures, and they can be shared with those around you. So when someone is happy, you indeed can feel it. When some one has desire for you, you can detect it, without even words being spoken explicitly about it. It does not also have to be blatant flirting or a smile about someone's face that lets you know their emotion at the point being. It could just be the way that they speak, or the subtle motions in which they coordinate their movements. Some people are just so graceful...
I can think of one such person, who is so graceful...
Off that tangent. So, I am tired now. End of my brainfart. Well, this is not a brainfart in the current use of the word. I am saying that I farted this whole blurb from my brain this morning...
