24 November 2009

A favorite poem of mine

This poem is one of my all time favorites because of its rythm and idealism.

Romance del enamorado y la muerte

¡ábreme la puerta, niña!

Yo me estaba reposando
anoche como solía,
soñaba con mis amores,
que en mis brazos se dormían.
Vi entrar señora tan blanca
muy más que la nieve fría.

- ¿Por dónde has entrado, amor?
¿Cómo has entrado, mi vida?
Las puertas están cerradas,
ventanas y celosías.

- No soy el amor, amante:
La muerte que Dios te envía.
- ¡Hay muerte tan rigurosa,
déjame vivir un día!

- Un día no puedo darte,
- una hora tienes de vida.
Muy deprisa se levanta,
más deprisa se vestía.

Ya se va para la calle,
en donde su amor vivía.
- ¡Ábreme la puerta, blanca,
ábreme la puerta niña!

- ¿La puerta cómo he de abrirte
si la ocasión no es venida?
Mi padre no fue a palacio,
mi madre no está dormida.

- Si no me abres esta noche,
ya nunca más me abrirías;
la muerte me anda buscando,
junto a ti vida sería.

- Vete bajo la ventana
donde bordaba y cosía,
te echaré cordel de seda
para que subas arriba,
si la seda no alcanzare,
mis trenzas añadiría.

Ya trepa por el cordel,
ya toca la barandilla,
la fina seda se rompe,
él como plomo caía.

La Muerte le está esperando
abajo en la tierra fría:
Vamos, el enamorado,
la hora ya está cumplida.

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20 November 2009

Shirt design

UNC MSA Shirt design.  The following would be on the front:

Back


Is it too unoriginal? Of course I like the idea, I think it is fun and will catch ppl's attention, maybe even bring more people to MSA... 

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12 November 2009

In retrospect

I have taken some time out of my schedule to travel through time and space.


You may ask yourself, how can she do this?

Well, that is the benefit of a blog, I am able to travel to the past, and read my thoughts/reflections from years ago, whenever I want. I have started from the very beginning, back in 2007, or the second semester of my freshman year.

I was first introduced to blogging by force. My English 102 professor had us keep a blog (I originally chose livejournal, but hated the interface) for our English class. I fell in love with the idea of being able to electronically capture my self, because I never keep up with paper journals (although I love to collect them). So then I chose blogger, because I had a google account and I am in love with all things google (check out the new google wave!).

From there, it's history.

I find myself at a crossroads once again. The last time I was in this position, it was trying to get into the college that I had been dreaming of attending for more than 8 years... but they turned me down :(

UNC was a delectable choice though! It was my 3rd, and I accepted of course. I wanted to stay in NC, but my top choice would have put me out of state - and only that school would I have left everything behind for.

My first two years of college, I lived it just like any other college student - except I was so naive I guess I was a bit behind on all of the debauchery techniques that so many people have told me they already conquered during high school.

I was so innocent compared to them! I never had any intoxicating beverages, never went to parties, never tried to do anything risky (except outdoor adventures for Venture crew) and I usually stayed at home if I wasn't on some trip in the outdoors.

Then I came to college.

The first thing I did was join the women's rugby team - it meant automatic "friends" or at the least company, and the camaraderie of the team, at least for my first semester, helped me cope with college life and being away from home. This transition into situations and events that were "hip and cool" is what got the ball rolling for me in many ways. Often times you will find yourself doing things you would not normally do if you are surrounded by people who are accustomed to doing such things.

I soon got very tired of the partying lifestyle, and it became a redundant thing that they did almost every weekend - some people multiple days of the week! I stayed on the rugby team consistently for three semesters, and then on and of the 4th one...

But by that time I had also made other friends, who also had the same idea about having fun - except we would continuously go to different and new places in the search for the same thing. So that got old too. By the end of my sophomore year, I didn't feel like myself, and I had been contemplating so much about my purpose in life and what it means to be responsible for ones actions.

I don't regret any part of my past. It has made me the person I am today. The times were changing in my life, and I was over the trivial endeavors of college debauchery. So I began to branch away from my friends a bit, and try to walk to the beat of my own drum.

I started talking to new people, from different backgrounds and different ideas about what "fun" was in a college setting. I started going to my university's MSA meetings, and I met some amazing, amazing people. People who I finally saw that were like myself back in high school, people who were a reflection to me of what a different path I was really on at the moment, and how I needed to reconsider my priorities in life. They were just like mirrors, and it was my own contemplation and desire to reform myself that allowed me to read them in that way. Not that I was an awful person, but more like - I knew there was a greater purpose in life that also included the sense of accountability. I can't put into words what it felt like to think that your life started out as random and will end up in a random manner - the kind of theory that nonbelievers use to argue against the existence of God Almighty. Yet, the beautiful thing about religion in itself is that it attributes to everyone a special purpose, a meaning for your existence and a constant reminder of your accountability in front of God.

I suppose this is a short way to say that I realized what I was missing in my life, but it came to me in a form not previously encountered. Islam is truly the full culmination of man's relationship with God, and how it applies in all aspects of life. Not just spiritually and not bereft of its role in society at large (unlike contemporary ideas of the separation of church and state). Because it is an all comprehensive deen, and even though unitarian christians may have had it right in the beginning, unfortunately christianity flowed away from its pure roots and has been corrupted. Islam though, by Allah, has and will continue to be preserved till Kingdom come.

So what crossroads am I at now?

Well, this is my final year in college. I will earn (inshAllah) a degree in Geography-GISc and a Minor in Spanish. I am not quite sure where I will be going in one year, and I pray that it is to something greater and beneficial to society. I would love to do field research, and make a difference, but I don't know where to begin... what Grad-school, should I go to grad school? What kind of career is there for someone with my degree? Who do I talk to, and how do I keep myself from complacency? Will I want to go to professional school in the near future? Question after question after question plagues me at the moment and it beats me down sometimes. I can feel the stress, and I hope to cope with it in time.

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09 November 2009

Update

بسملة

My senior year at Carolina.

This end of this semester will mark the beginning of my last year at Carolina. It has been an amazing experience, one with twists and turns, ups and downs that I believe if I were to see just the end result of myself through my former high school eyes - I would not have been able to believe. Every decision being unique in itself necessitates the act of experience. Had I not gone through whatever I have gone through, then every decision I ever made may seem irrational or unjustified.

To start, this was my first Ramadan. It was a blessed one indeed. I experienced many qiyam-ul-layls thanks primarily to the wonderful student run MSA we have at this university, and so many iftaars that I was able to share with my sisters and brothers. I have friends who are loyal to the max, and will support me at all times, and I have rizq (sustenance, provision) from Allahu aza wajal that does more than suffice. It was a wonderful time, and I pray that we gained the goodness from it therein. Amen.

Coursework

I attempted to take 18 credit hours this semester, but I quickly realized that I would be spoiling a good thing (my senior year) by trying to be a workhorse. Not to mention that I also have a part time job (12 hours a week), so that would have been a most taxing schedule with 0 room for a social life. I am taking two classes with labs (GISc and Remote sensing), one advanced Spanish grammar class, and one upper level modern art history class (weeeeeeirrrrdd). All of which I enjoy to some extent :) alhamdulillah.

Adventures


This semester has been full of adventure! First off, about 16 girls were all lucky enough to get to go on a white water rafting trip in West Virginia at the beginning of October (while it was still warm!!). We went to the New River gorge, and it was such an amazing experience. I still can't believe we pulled it off, and no one fell out of a raft or got hurt. Thanks to my hydro sister at Vtech who let all 16 of us crash at her apartment (otherwise this trip would not have been possible). Let's see what other amazing things: new friends, amazing speakers (Zaid Shakir came to UNC yesterday!), and oh yea TONS OF MY SISTERS ARE GETTING HITCHED!! Three girls in the past six months have got some guys whipped! (JUST KIDDING) InshaAllah they will be blessed marriages - all of them! I have my suspicions of which one of my friends are next... hehehe

Outlook on the future

EEK, don't ask me quite yet! I know I've got my eye on many opportunities that I already have experience in but I always keep my door open to new chances as well. I am really intrigued by research opportunities and/or travel. I would love to do something with the UN because of it's travel aspect, but I don't know that I would be okay with being sent just ANYWHERE. Also, I read this really interesting scholarly journal called The Professional Geographer, and the research (which are primarily independently directed) within this little journal seemed to me like a prime match for what I am looking to do... I just need to find out HOW I can do it. I hope some grad-school will accept me - hehe. As for the long term, I am pretty sure Law school or something focusing on the environment and human interactions would be my area of interest. If not, then experiential education... which I am always working on (on myself).

Ciao!

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09 August 2009

One more chance

If it weren't for you I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't have on the shoes that I have on right now. My life might be a different shade of gray, but gray nonetheless.

Is reality just a series of parallels that can be crisscrossed and interchanged at the whim of ones' emotions?

Is life something worth aspirations and dreams? After all, the one thing you are guaranteed is a place six feet under. This we can see for ourselves.

What about the unseen things? ...

You got to have faith, keep the faith.

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21 July 2009

North Carolina Outward Bound

As I am writing in my blog at this very moment, I am currently located on a tract of Forest service land in the middle of Pisgah National Forest. My location is Cedar Rock Base Camp - one of two operational bases of the North Carolina Outward Bound School. If I was able to describe coherently what I do here for work, I would... but it is surely not the easiest thing to describe. Here is the website, check it out: www.ncobs.org

What I do during a normal work day is mostly working logistics in our warehouse. There I pack backpacks, food, collect items and disperse them where they need to be. When I am on call, I am the go to person for hospital, airport, or any other emergency runs from the field. When I say "the field" that just means anyone who is out backpacking. Our course area is the entire southern section of the Pisgah. It is in my opinion, the most beautiful part. Transylvania county is like a mini everything - rainforest, tundra, pine bearings, all kinds of microcosm environments between the Great Smokies, and Boone. It's Awesome!! Then on other days, I get to shadow field instructors, and I get to go with them on rock climbing trips or white water canoeing trips. So I have exposure to the students as well. I really enjoy it here, but I miss so many things about being at UNC. Including MSA, and the Masjid, and praying with other people... I miss that so much. The congregation is such a blessing. Solidarity is what all of my friends say to me when I tell them that I miss these things... but they easily forget that they are not in my shoes.

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