My dear Michael Jackson

I grew up to your music.

Looked up to your example of passion.

Felt your lyrics.

Wished to attend your concert in one month...

May Allah guide you Michael, and whatever you have earned yourself now in the hereafter, only Allah knows. You will be remembered, and your music will live on.

I thought when this day would come, I would be older... but your untimely death is just a testament to your life. Living it at a roller coaster pace since the age of five... an old man's soul in a young man's body. A true leader, besides all of the controversy. His deep belief for unity of all mankind and for peace and of course his passion for children are all hallmarks of his character. I am sad and a part of me is still trying to refer to him in the past tense now... it is hard.

Say "Indeed, the death from which you flee - indeed it will meet you. Then you will be returned to the Knower of the unseen and the witnessed, and He will inform you about what you used to do. "
Al-Jumu'ah 62:8

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RAVE

I just had to make a post about the Rave that took place on campus. IT WAS SUPER!

So nonchalant. People just started filing into Davis library about 15 mintutes before 11:50, and then at 11:54 the music started blasting, and the people started jumping around. I saw my friends in the mix, being squished, tossed, turned, swayed. Basically every position you can do standing up, they went through. It lasted about 10 minutes, and then the music stopped, and the people in lines, left Davis library. I think about one or two people sustained some sort of injury from projectiles. Otherwise, it was a relatively safe event - meaning no serious injuries occurred. That's a relief.

If I had pictures, I would post them.

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End of semester

Finished.

The semester ended just three days past and this marks the end of my junior year. Next semester, I will be coming to Carolina as a senior, iA. My last year at Carolina... what a journey it has been. I could be here forever, but at the same time - I don't want to be here forever. I think I love so much the idea of living care free. College certainly affords you that - you can live in a dorm, in a bubble, surrounded by so many minds that think alike in many ways. You gravitate towards those who mesh well with your personality. You call them your friends. Classes tend to spark your interest, or your sleep. Whichever one, you end up enjoying most of them, unless you had to take one to simply fulfill some requirement - which can turn out for the best (but not usually). I have seen myself coming in to college so naive and idealistic. I will see myself leaving just a tad bit more mature, and a little less idealistic. This year, no, this past semester I have met some of the most amazing people that I have ever met... and they will be leaving me now; they are seniors. BUT our sisterhood in Islam will keep us together, and our love for Allah (swt) will prove the strongest binds. I am happy to see them moving on to Medical School, Law School, prestigious Universities (for Masters/Doctoral Degrees) and amazing travel plans after college. I am happy to know that I was able to share in their friendship, and I thank God so much for it.

This semester has been the most taxing on me emotionally. I can't even begin to explain how little worries I had in my freshman year, and now I actually have legitimate concerns for my future, and for those whom I care about. I pray that I can do well on my classes this semester as I take my final exams and turn in one more year.

This summer should prove to be fruitful, inshaAllah. I will be working with the North Carolina Outward Bound School, and I think everything about me is there except for the physical requirement. I am not confident that I can run 6 miles in 45 minutes, but I have been training and I will do my best. Plus I totally plan on being able to do that over the summer, meaning I will be training to do it while I am on basecamp. I think I will have the evening to do such, and I plan on it. How exciting would that be!? For me to be able to run a 10k by the end of the summer! That is pretty baller :D

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Spiritual Elation

Far beyond excitement...

Friday is the day! Talk about nervous, my hands are already shaking just thinking about it. Lol... not really - but I know it's an important step in my journey. It's really super important to let the community know that they have a new Muslim joining them, and so this Friday is my big day, I suppose :D

It's a bit surreal feeling to me though - because the whole shabang is literally like 3 minutes at the most. Then, as I have overheard, A ton of congratulations and affection from the sisters, and then I can go home, knowing that I have completed just one more pillar of my faith. I think it's truly symbolic to call them pillars - because in a way doing these the obligatory acts of faith support you so much in your endeavor to live your life in a manner that pleases Allah.

For example:

Shahada: This helps get you community support and networking, and it solidifies your covenant in a very public manner
Zakat: this is a way for us to support those who are less fortunate for whatever reason and to realize that the bounty given to us from Allah is not one just for selfish consumption, but that we all have a part in it. Zakat is more then just giving to the poor, its also for the betterment of our community.
Prayer: Who would question this one? As-salat is of the utmost importance. It is our daily connection with God and spirituality. It is our avenue with which Allah has ordained for us to humble ourselves, ask for guidance, support and remembrance of why we are here, and what we are striving towards.
Ramadan: It's much more then just self restraint from food: the food which God has made permissible for us to eat is such a blessing in itself, and the willpower that goes into refraining from eating from sunrise to sunset for one month truly serves as a reminder of what luxuries we have in the form of sustenance. It also serves as a time for deep contemplation as we are refraining from much more then just food and the hope is that whatever improvements you can make for yourself during Ramadan can be maintained and improved upon year after year.
Hajj: The great pilgrimage - obligatory upon any able-bodied person who can also afford to go. From what I have heard, it's just simply a gleaming pinnacle in one's spiritual journey to go, and the unity and focus during Hajj - all for the sake of Allah - has been described to me as incomparable. I would have to do this one first before I can say much more about it.

Hanging Rock
Hang of the Rock

What a blast! A full day of hiking and miles of scenery to be viewed from the top of the rock - plus going with the MSA always proves to be fun times :D Alhamdulillah!

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Fall flat out on your face, at one fell swoop, like you just shortcircuited or something...

Feeble minds
Feeble minds
Feeble minds

They just don't understand me... or maybe it's because they don't agree... It is most likely that they don't agree and thus don't want to hear what I have to say - which is fine, if only I would move on.

Today is a beautiful day - but this week, WOW - the weather has been insane. So it snowed on Monday and it is going to hit 70 degrees by Saturday. Spring break is approaching, and with it, my mom's departure... :'(

I feel sort of hopeless. It's the scariest reality I have had to face head on, I think it's just the distance that I fear the most. Because being away from my mom, like right now - being at College, is manageable because I know that I have the convenience of going home to her if need be, or when I please... but a whole country away... There is no spontaneity - everything has to be planned out, and if something were to happen that would call to my direct attention, I am still a whole 5 or 6 hour flight away. Besides all of that, we still have the fact that the length of her stay is not definite... aka I don't know when this whole mess will be figured out. At the same time, I feel like I have so much support from friends, more so then I do from my own family. I feel this way because even in the midst of my mom leaving, no one but my grandparents have actually offered for me to come live with them if I need somewhere to go... I mean, I don't want to undermine any hardships that they are going through either, but to hear the simple words that sure, I could stay there if I needed a place to stay would be nice... You would think family would be the first to reach out. Alhamdulillah for my sisters in Islam.

I have been wanting to go camping for a while now... I am thinking maybe the Tuesday that I return from Texas, that I will take a solo getaway to my most favorite spot on the Earth at the moment... I have not been to enough places in the world, to find a better spot, but I like this one just fine. Or I thought that if I get the special urge to, that I might go to the beach. I have yet to spend a night on the beach, and I am very eager to do so. I shouldn't be making too many plans though, I don't get my next pay check until next Thursday!

I am at work at the moment. It's a pretty chill job, especially if I am working at the office on South Campus. I think I am gonna peace out. Oh, ps. My shahada will be, inshAllah, on March 27.

Salaam

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What beauty does to me

SubhanAllah

What beauty does to me is it invigorates my soul and baffles my eyes

What beauty does for me is provide a brief moment of bliss

What beauty beholds is the power and awe inspiring greatness of The One and The Only

What beauty shows to the world is that everything has a purpose

I appreciate beauty now more then ever

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